Learning to breathe

iTunes : You - Switchfoot

I finally got my mind reactivated after 5 days of holiday. Less that I know, everyone seemed to move forward with their plans since I last heard from them. Some already got jobs for their 2nd practical; while I was just sending my resume a few weeks ago and some have started revising for exam next January; which I obviously haven't begun that part at all. I'm still in holiday mood to be exact. Now that my parents are coming in the next few days, I'm busy booking flights, hotels and planning for their trip, although they will only be here for like 4 days.

And yes, my anxiety is back, ladies and gentlemen. So today, I spent half of the day searching practical places but I only found some. Most companies require advanced knowledge of Java and C++; which I'm currently sucks at. Big time. Since last week, I already got rejected by 5 out of 15 companies. I thought it's practically easy to get job for 2nd internship. But, seeing the results now, I don't think it looks good.

Sigh.

Along with piling of assignment waiting, I don't think I'll be able to gather myself together at the moment. It's hard. I know, I've been saying that for the past 2 freaking years! Yes people, it ain't getting easier! Well, no one thought it's gonna be easy, anyway. I kept promising myself that I'll do everything on time, yet I ended up crashing them all last minute. As it has been my 6th semester already, the anticipation to finish up my Diplom by 2006, even make me feel worse than ever.

And holidays coming up sure be like hell. I have my best friend visiting in the next few weeks but I didn't feel like celebrating at all; even though she's the one I'm looking forward to see for the last 3 months. I'm trying to finish at least one of the projects before this Christmas break but again, I could only try.

The worst part is, I didn't have a gut to tell my parents about everything I went through lately; which in my case, makes it even harder. I've been pretending all this while that everything is fine, but the truth is I feel miserable.

Sigh.

It's not good for my complexion to menggelabah like this, I know.

Look at these happy faces. It did last for a while, like I hoped.


p/s: I crashed some here, the rest will be in fotopages soon.

Labels: My iTunes, Rant, Travel